Let's Play Telephone

Sep. 19th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Ever wonder what could possibly go wrong with a simple inscription on a basic cake? Well, WONDER NO MORE. 

Below I've listed the inscriptions some of my trusty Wreckporters ordered from professional bakeries, followed by the cakes they actually received:

 

"God Bless Neal"

I hear it's His middle name.

 

"Welcome Baby Arnold"

The spacing is what really sells it.

 

"Happy Birthday Mom"

Now that's a cake only a mother named Bob could love.

[Btw, I'm starting to wonder if a baker named Bob is doing these on purpose. And if so, I want to shake Bob's hand.]

 

"Congrats British Lit"

I hope this starts a trend; I want to see all the ways bakers butcher "Kyrgyzstanian."

 

"Happy Bandwidth Upgrade Day"

"Band With Upgrade" is the name of my retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band.

(I realize only about 3 people will get that joke... and I'm ok with that.)

 

"Grats to Dad"

I like to think this is the baker's revenge on everyone who shortens "congratulations" to "grats." "CONGRATS" IS SHORT ENOUGH, PEOPLE.

 

"Old Dirty Thirty"

At some point you stop being surprised. Or so I'm told.

 

"When I'm 64"

That's actually how John says it when he's singing in his "drunk McCartney" voice, so maybe Kit sang her order over the phone. Drunk. While imitating Paul McCartney. 

(Don't keep us in suspense, now, Kit: did you?)

 

Thanks to Colleen C., Suzanne R., Morgan & Eric, Katie D., Ethan D., Leslie C., Becky L., & Kit K. for really phoning it in today. ;)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Now That's A Bad Day

Sep. 18th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves and the Volvo is lost...

You tell me your blue skies fade to grey

Your baker still hates you, too, they say

But I don't need no carryin' on!


You fall in the line just to hit a new low

You pretend that you meant to, but everyone knows


You tell me it's hard working here offline

Your coworkers mock you all the time

But I don't need no carryin' on!


So you had a bad day

You're itching downtown,

You sing a sad song just to drown out the sound!


You say you must know,

You tell me don't lie,

Then you work on a smile and you opt for the pie.


You had a bad day!

Now that's a bad day.

 

Thanks to wreckporters Connie L., Deborah P., Melissa F., Fribby, Monique R., Anony M., & Rachel B. for inspiring a new CW policy: from now on, we want any and all apologies handwritten. ON CAKE.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

misslucyjane: (side by side (steve & bucky))
[personal profile] misslucyjane
The Oldest Living Bachelor in Oakdale (3130 words) by misslucyjane
Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Peggy Carter, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sharon Carter (Marvel), Georges Batroc
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Work In Progress, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, Grief/Mourning, Second Chances
Summary:

Sweet, shy Steve Rogers had had it! He now held the dubious title of oldest unmarried man in Oakdale — and a virgin, to boot. It was high time he shed his scholarly shell and unleashed the temptor within. Problem was, he didn't know the first thing about men, let alone seducing one….


Heartbreaker Bucky Barnes had been away for twelve years, and boy, had things changed! The innocent boy who once had tutored him in math now was a man in need of his help… to snare a man! He'd always admired Steve, but his stunning transformation was too much for any man to resist — even a sworn bachelor like him...


Adapted from The Oldest Virgin In Oakdale by Wendy Warren

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Whether you're a kid or just feel like one, nothing beats seeing one of your favorite characters in cake, am I right?

And if you've already seen Guardians of the Galaxy 2, I bet this is one of your new favorites:

(By Tattooed Bakers)

HE IS GROOT!

And just look at all that fabulous detail & airbrushing!

 

Here's another favorite no one's ready to "let go" just yet:

(By The Hobby Baker, photo by Alison Greenwood)

Olaf! Let's just pretend he's singing our version of his summer song.

(Those waves are fantastic, btw; love how the number 5 is floating off to the side.)

 

Groot and Olaf may be the new characters in town, but some classics never get old:

(By Sonata Torte)

Winnie-the-Pooh, and the whole gang, too!

 

I'll admit it: I still love cartoons, and I still really love the Ninja Turtles:

(By You've Been Cupcaked)

Look how cute! And lookit Mikey on his back! D'awww.

 

This next one is for my fellow writer Sharyn, because "it's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!"

(By The Bunny Baker)

That's Agnes from Despicable Me, and I want her stuffed unicorn.

 

Ever see a character you grew up with and instantly get the show's theme song stuck in your head?

(By Richards' Cakes)

"Down in Fraggle Rock!"

 

Time for another favorite, this time from The Lego Movie:

(By April Heather)

Yay Unikitty!

Would you believe April is just a hobby baker? She made this for her daughter, so I think I speak for us all when I say, "JEALOUS."

 

How about an old arcade classic?

(By Sculpted Sweets)

It's Pac-Man, now in 3D! Great design, great colors.

 

And everyone's favorite Pixar robot:

(By Sweet Disposition Cakes)

Wall-E! Look closely; that "dirt" is actually chocolate sprinkles.

Here's a fun flashback for you: my first Sunday Sweets EVER was of a Wall-E cake.
I also have the Pop Funko toy perched on my monitor, so he can watch me while I work. :)

 

And another universally loved 'bot - though I think he prefers "droid":

(By Mira que Tarta)

R2D2!

Like Wall-E, there are a TON of great R2 cakes out there, but I love the extra details here: the themed number 7, the Tatooine landscape, and those bitty yellow wires on R2's "feet."

 

And finally, from droids to dragons:

(By Richards' Cakes)

WOW.

This How To Train Your Dragon masterpiece needs a closer look, so here are a few detail shots:

He's even wearing a saddle!

I'm amazed bakers this talented don't also go into the clay figurine business. I'd buy some of these dragons for my desk in a heartbeat!

 

Hope you enjoyed your Sweets today, everyone! Happy Sunday!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Fade To Wreck

Sep. 15th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Just when you thought Fridays couldn't get any better, along comes...

WEDDING WRECKS!

 

Molly S. ordered this lovely ombré design for her wedding cake:

But instead, she got this:

Molly paid $500 for it.
It was still frozen solid in the middle.
And it left a giant puddle on the tablecloth.

NEXT!

 

Stephanie R. tells us the bride wanted a combo of these two cakes:

Oooh. Aaah.

So, a blue ombré fade on a smooth tiered cake with a monogram?

ROGER THAT.

o.0

***

ROGER, KILL THAT.

 

And finally, not a wedding cake, but Michelle tells me they wanted this for Madisyn's birthday:

 

I guess the baker didn't feel like making all those strands of fondant, though - which would probably be ok, provided the aforementioned baker can pipe even lines of oh who are we kidding.

Mmm. Finger-y.

 

Thanks to Molly, Stephanie, & Michelle for reminding us maybe it's time for a new trend. I'm thinking... chevrons. Eh? What could go wrong?

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Happy Womb Expulsion Day!

Sep. 14th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

 All together, now!

 

Happy bathday to you...

 

Happy birdhday to you...

*sigh*

[ahem]

Happy BLIMDAY dear...

[whimper]

 

Brithty sooo-oong...

[sound of head banging on desktop]

 

HAAAAPPY...

 

 

 

(For a 90-yr-old grandmother)

 

 

(Supposed to be "Matthew.")

 

OH FORGET IT.

 

Thanks to Alex B., Alexander O., Aaron, Brittany G., Amber T., Anita B., Allison R., Anony M., Gemma G., Genevieve B, & Julia G. for the wreck-along.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Heidi Waterhouse's blog

Sep. 13th, 2017 12:49 pm
brainwane: My smiling face, including a small gold bindi (Default)
[personal profile] brainwane in [site community profile] dw_feed_promo
[syndicated profile] heidiwaterhouse_feed is Heidi Waterhouse's feed (she's also known as [twitter.com profile] wiredferret and [tumblr.com profile] agilecrafting). She's a technical writer, developer advocate, sf/f fan, crafter, public speaker, feminist, and parent whose thoughts on all of these topics are always worth reading.

John's Final Straw

Sep. 13th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by john (the hubby of Jen)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Natalia R., Anony M., Sandra B., Lisa S., and Vicky G. for sparking the idea.

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? Visiting Amazon through that link will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

Fidele Chapter 26

Sep. 12th, 2017 02:38 pm
misslucyjane: (typing - archy)
[personal profile] misslucyjane
Fidele (121306 words) by misslucyjane
Chapters: 26/?
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Additional Tags: Romance Novel, Paranormal, PTSD, Hauntings, Kid Fic, Drug Use
Summary:

A house full of ghosts is no place to fall in love.

Malcolm Carmichael has been coping with his post-war trauma by taking lovers, teaching art to schoolboys, and trying to ignore the ghosts he sees everywhere. At the death of his mother, he realizes he wants more than just to coast on by, and leaves the exclusive school in search of something more.

Caleb Thibodeaux was so traumatized by the death of his parents in a fire that he hasn't spoken a word since. His uncle Noel hires Malcolm to be his tutor, and Malcolm discovers that Caleb is not the only Thibodeaux son with secrets. The plantation house Fidele is beautiful but haunted, and Noel is much the same.

Soon Malcolm is absorbed in protecting Caleb and Noel from threats both living and dead, and in uncovering the story of Fidele.



Read at AO3 or at JennaLynnBrown.com.

Stick A Pick In It

Sep. 12th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

"...and to avoid any possible mistakes, instead of any writing on the cake I'd like you to just use one of those plastic 'Happy Birthday' picks, please."

 

"No, no, I don't want you to write it, I want you to use one. You know, the 'Happy Birthday' sticks? Yes. One of those."

 

"Maybe I'm using the wrong word. Um... do you have a decorative plaque you put on cakes? One that says 'Happy Birthday'? Because that's all I want. Really. Just that!"

[massaging temples]

 

"See, now you just wrote 'pick' again."

 

"Aha! Well, you DID use some birthday plaques this time. But see, that's all I want! No writing, just one plain 'Happy Birthday' plaque."

 

"I feel like we're going in circles here.

 

"Tell you what, forget the sticks, picks, and plaques, k? Go ahead and write happy birthday. JUST HAPPY BIRTHDAY. That's it. Got it?"

 

Thanks to Emily H., Garret E., Dan N., Savannah W., Shelly F., Melissa W., & Evan H. for today's just desserts.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

[syndicated profile] fandomgrammar_feed

Posted by chomiji

As Lewis Carroll's Alice observed, if you drink from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later. But what about venom or a toxin? Today we'll take a look at these three terms and figure out what makes them different from one another.

(With the help of the cast of "Star Trek: The Original Series")

Tickle Tickle

Sep. 11th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

And just like that, all of Josh's long years in therapy were undone.

 

 

Thanks, Dani E. That's one more memory I'll have to repress.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

I may not know the key to world peace, but I bet chocolate has something to do with it.

So today, let's go cuckoo for cocoa cakes with these gorgeous chocolate wedding designs.

(By The Chocolate Rose)

OoooOOoooooo...

 

(By Ana Parzych Cakes)

Aaaaaaaahhhh...

 

(By Bake Ur Day with us...)

EEEE! So pretty!

 

Here's a neat look:

(By Margaret's French Bakery)

I like how the chocolate is placed like broken mosaic tiles over the icing. So clever!

 

And check this out:

(By Kanya Hunt)

Those chocolate curls are perfection! Loving the tiny pops of lime green, too.

 

Another creative take:

(By Ivory Cake Company)

LOVE.

 

Just when you thought chocolate couldn't get any more decadent:

(By Bellaria Cakes Design)

Goooooold!
(Anyone else hear that in Gold Member's voice? Just me?)

 

I like how this next one looks like a giant graduated swirly slide - which I realize doesn't SOUND elegant, but lookie:

(By Ben the Cakeman)

Gorgeous, right?

 

You don't see too much intricate piping work these days, which makes this one all the more spectacular:

(Baker unknown. Anyone recognize it?)

WOW.
It's stunning!

 

And finally, a chocolate-and-gold beauty fit for royalty:

(Found here. Baker unknown)

There are no words, you guys - just lots of open-mouthed staring.

0.0

And, ok, maybe a little drool.

Happy Sunday, everyone! Let's go eat some chocolate.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

 

Confectionary Compensating

Sep. 8th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by john (the hubby of Jen)

Men, we need to talk.

Ladies, if you could just give us a minute? Thanks.

[tapping foot while 99.6% of readership leaves the room]

[whispering] Right, then. Listen, guys. I know some of you might be "concerned" that your bride-to-be has had wedding cake in the past. And yes, she probably has!

Hey, some girls have had lots of wedding cake.

 

And sure, ok, maybe they were fairly large cakes.

Maybe they were even huge cakes.

 

But that doesn't mean she won't be satisfied with a perfectly average-sized cake!

(Ok, you can't see her face - but I'm sure she's thrilled.)

 

So even if your wedding cake seems a bit small and overgrown...

 

Or perhaps leans to the right...

 

Or even has a little trouble staying upright...

 

...the important thing is to remember that your bride loves you, no matter what. The cakes of the past are the cakes of the past! No matter how massive and sweeping and awe-inspiring they may have been.

Er...

And if all else fails, you can always buy a Ferrari.

 

Thanks to Kimber M., Anony M., Julia H., Tessa D., Adrienne H., Jamie, Rachel O., and Anony M., who can come back in now.

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? Visiting Amazon through that link will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

I Think I Get The Picture

Sep. 7th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

"Hi, I'd like to order a monkey cake for my son, but I want to make sure there won't be any mix-ups like what happened last week."

"Oh? What happened last week?"

"Well, I brought in a reference for my nephew's monkey cake - a paper party plate -  and you guys just took a picture of it and glued the picture to the cake!"  

 "I see. And that's bad because....?"

"Because I just wanted the monkey! Not the paper plate!!"

"OH! Oh, yes! Of course. Sorry, I thought that was some kind of a pun."

[silence]

"So...look, this time, just to be extra clear, I brought you a picture of the actual cake I want you to make. Here:"

 

 

"So you want a cake that looks just like this?"

"That's right, a cake that looks JUST LIKE THAT."

[silence]

"I think we can do that."

"Good. Thank you. I'm so glad we got that cleared up."

 

****

 

 

 

Poor 2nd Devon. (Or is that 2rd Devon?) Although I guess it IS kind of fitting that the Devon copy gets a cake copy (complete with copied candles!). Hey, how much do you wanna bet his presents were all just pictures of toys? :D

 

Thanks for the monkey business,  Kee & Erin M.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

WYSINWYG

Sep. 6th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

What you see...

  ...is NOT what you get.

 

(Change the "ride" to "wreck," and you've got a deal.)

 

From wedding tiers of roses...

Ooooooh. Drippy.

 

To rows of wedding tears:

Hershey's Syrup:
You're doing it wrong.

 

Here's a little Disney magic for you:

 

Bippity, Boppity...

BOO!

 

Ah, but that's nothing. Want to see something REALLY wild?

 

This is what happens when animal print cakes feel blue:

And also kind of intestine-y.

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Diana B., Gina L., & Leighanne G. for the excuse to use "intestine-y." I've been holding on to that one for YEARS.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 11:06 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios